Adventure before Dementia

After my drunken lazy day of doing nothing it was time to get out of the house and do something... in the middle of the Australian countryside what do you do? Go for a walk that's what! 

So off I set, not really with any sort of plan or direction in mind... I wandering in a circle before I decided on "THAT WAY!"  and walked, headphones in. 

The good thing about where I was walking was that there was barely another person around so I could sing along to my music as loudly and badly as I wanted! (I apologise to anybody who did manage to catch a verse of my headphones-in singing). 

Look at those birds on the right - amused me!

When I started out it was quite a bit overcast and very very windy, I had my jumper and sunglasses on as the sun peeped out from the clouds occasionally. I ended up making it to the beach. Who could argue with the beauty of the sea and the views this place has to offer? You'd be a bit of a Scrooge if you didn't like this place.... or just a mentalist who would rather look at concrete floors and grey buildings, not a pretty sight. 

I made it to the beach and had it completely to myself which was pretty brilliant. Due to the wind I got a free leg exfoliation, who needs to buy salt scrubs when you can go to the beach on a windy day huh? Whilst I walked down the beach I went and walked along near the water and played the "is the tide coming in or out" game. I got quite far along before I realised the tide may be coming in, but I never managed a definitive answer no matter how long I looked at it.  

Given I couldn't decide if the water was coming in to get me or running away from me, I decided maybe get off the beach before I get stranded. It was good timing, since the sand was so soft and beautiful, my right knee was like "naw, forget this!" so back to solid floors it was. I also came across a sign that, as informative as it is, did make me chuckle, mostly due to the fact that you never get these kind of warnings at Blackpool beach. More likely to be 

• WARNING
• Strong drugs
• Large piles of rubbish
• Slippery sludge
• Submerged syringes and beer bottles
• Moron risk area
• Sh**s
• No Fashion Police on patrol

I would hate to see the yellow pictures associated! 

I was having a lot of fun on my walk, I had done some reflecting whilst looking at the sea with the big waves crashing, I had done some overly loud singing and some out loud laughing, so I carried on and decided to go for a Chai latte. I sat at the front and watched the wind surfers skid across the water at speed and it looked like "heaps" (to use an Australian term) of fun. I will absolutely be looking for somewhere/one to help me get involved with that for sure! Big kites and surf board, what could go wrong, eh? (Watch this space!).

I started heading back home along the road to get my bearings when a car drove past me and went up to park at the top car park near the cafe... I HAD to follow it; what I saw on that car absolutely made my day. I needed a picture! When I got to the car there were four guys near it... I was in two minds, ask for them to take a picture of me, for me, OR wait until everyone had gone and make a stealth picture. As they hovered near another car I walked down a path and decided on Stealth-Ninja... I waited a little then wandered back, nobody in sight so BAM! Selfie time. 

For those of you who don't know, my Grandad suffered with dementia and passed away earlier this year. It was very very sad for all of us who love him and dementia is a horrible disease that nobody should have to suffer from. Unfortunately it runs in both sides of my family so I may have to suffer this sadness myself one day (I seriously hope not!!). However, the one thing the passing of my adored Grandad has done for me is to make sure I grab life by the horns and have the time of my life riding it out! Make memories that will last a life time and live a life you love. When you look back on your life, make sure you did all you could to have fun and be happy, it's never too late to start doing that, so you better crack on and tell me about the fantastic times you're having in your life! Remember, Adventure before Dementia!

When I made it back from my walk (and yes, I did make it back in one piece) I was sat on the couch looking at my feet...  Now feet, are you just immensely grubby from that walk, or have we caught the sun by chance? Even on this overcast windy day... I couldn't decide before I decided to pop in to town with Charlotte. 


In town I went to the post office and a mysterious place called Woolworths, those of you I have on Facebook will have seen my post about the shock I suffered in Woolworths. No nostalgic pick'n'mix to be seen with mini cans of fizzy drinks. No section full of games and toys. What was this mysterious place? I was just like Waitrose; a rose by any other name (see what I did there?). There were groceries, and not even those I was used to, the ones I recognised where in the "International" aisle - orange clubs, pot noodles and hellmans mayo - international? Not only are they international, they're expensive! Over 3 dollars for Monster Munch, dafuq?! Who would buy them... I'm sure there is an equivalent over here much cheaper. Brand names huh? To top it all off, they had an aisle with "Manchester" in it... what is with this confusing shop? I needed to lie down. (I'm being strictly sarcastic).

Well, after thinking my day had already been made by that awesome car slogan I was walking back to the pool with the post and still simcard-less, in a daze from the Woolworths experience. Walking down the street I smelt something and to myself I said "mmm chicken", buh? I laughed at myself, clearly I was hungry after missing lunch for my epic walk. The best was yet to come, bouncing along to my music on my walk back, I saw a guy who was too cool for school; sunglasses on, mint green shorts and t-shirt, flip flops, bouncing down the street like he was gangster... and you'll never believe it unless you saw it... HE WAS PALER THAN ME! I nearly wee'd with excitement, it was the funniest thing I had seen all day, I almost burst in to a fit of laughter (luckily I managed to control myself long enough to pass him before I laughed out-loud like a bit of a lunatic). He actually looked WHITE, I have dubbed him The Snowman. When Charlotte drove us back in to town to get buns I was so excited that I might be able to point him out to somebody else but he had gone by then. Oh but it absolutely made my day!

When I had been walking back to the car I saw they had decorated the crossing with tinsel, I can't get my head around it yet. As I said in my previous post, we'll see how I get on post-birthday. My brain never accepts Christmas until after this point so maybe I'll have a Christmas revelation, like oooh I feel the Christmas spirit. I'll HAVE to watch Muppet Christmas Carol, it's not the same without it. 

Remember I mentioned my grubby feet? Well I'm sure you've guessed already, yes they were grubby from all the walking barefoot. However, I've got a 'thong" line (another Australian term, for flip flops) and I am lobster red; nose, feet, shins. The overcast windy day lulled me in to a false sense of security and my poor pasty complexion has been done for! Although at least I look like rudolph to help with my Christmas feeling. No, no pictures for you! Regardless of knowing I will go white again, I'm content that I will never be paler than The Snowman. Ginger problems!

I'm staying indoors today as best I can... Who's got the aftersun?! 

Fish and Drunkness.

Been almost a week... what's happened... hmmm... *thinks*.

I went and caught some cray fish, immersing myself in the Aussie culture... ok that's a big fat lie! Cam caught them and I held them... and dropped one (no surprise to anyone who knows me!). After losing a leg off one of them Cam put them in the fridge. Alive. In the fridge. Alive. My head was confused at watching these things slowly comatose, legs and feelers twitching. I decided to name them, Walt and Disney, which amused me greatly (probably more apt in the freezer but amusing nonetheless), and my goodness did they taste delicious! I want my own cray pot now, have to learn the skill of not letting them plummet to the floor and lose limbs.

That evening we went to the children's school concert at Leuwinn Estate, I enjoyed myself, sat outside on the grass, eating sushi, drinking a sneaky gin, despite the little bit of rain and soy sauce spillage (not me for a change! Yay!). The singing left a lot to be desired but I got in to the groove anyway, as the older years performed there was more singing and less shouting. I would be best in one of the younger classes with my banshee style howling.

On Saturday we headed to the beach, it was quite windy but the water was a hell of a lot warmer than it had been the other day! I went with suncream on, sunglasses and hat. I think all of that came off after doing my best to try and jump over the waves, come on, don't pretend you've never tried; there's an inner child in all of us wanting to not get taken down by a massive wave! 

The sand was golden and the sea was a beautiful clear blue. Before we arrived the boys were reminded to look out for sharks and be careful of rip tides. I had a quick peer for sharks, and I think I was the scariest beast on that beach haha. I was quite obviously the palest person on the beach... not hard given I'm practically see-through. When we got back, free of sand and showered off the salt water, most people had a nap, some people were snoring loudly! Then the boys and I watched Box Trolls, awesome film, why have I not seen it sooner? 

That night I tagged along to the Margaret River running club Christmas function at the winery, my goodness did I get sozzled, luckily no pictures of that! Who knows what I would look like! (I'm sure there'll be plenty of drunken pictures in time for those of you desperate for a good chuckle). There were plenty of characters around and I had a right good laugh, there was pizza and some form of cured ham which I couldn't get enough of, I shouldn't have stood near the table - easy accessible food and easy accessible wine. There was also a Scots man and a Londoner there, as well as the Scouser(me), we had the beginning of a classic joke! I was also coined with the name "Gourmet Traveller", I'll have that quite happily, there was much laughing about it too. What made the "Gourmet Traveller" funnier for me in my drunken state was the gent that knighted me the name was completely sober and still laughing hysterically. The ride home seemed to be where it all went down hill, then I was slumped in to the couch with my eyes wanting to sleep and my stomach wanting to regurgitated the delicious food; that wasn't going to happen! So water and bed it was.  

Soz about the selfie

Soz about the selfie

My head wasn't too bed the next day but the sun was blazing and I couldn't comprehend how anyone can get in the Christmas mood with the sun 'cracking the flags', as the saying goes. I spent most of the day in my pyjamas doing puzzles; I had a super lazy day! The boys and I were all snuggled up on the couch watching Home Alone and I was trying to brain wash myself to get in the Christmas spirit. I'm not too worried just yet as I don't usually do Christmas until post-birthday anyway, so I'll be rocking all the Christmas songs then and sticking on the reindeer ears, and dreaming of a... white... Christmas? 

Bush Tucker Tour

I did think my school days were over, but Tuesday morning, there I was in front of a collection of 6 and 7 years olds telling them about myself - I was "news". After a few questions (what's your name, where are you from, how long are you staying) I popped in to town to do the "fun stuff".

Nipped to a couple of banks and enquired about a medicare card. Walked up and down the main town... the one main road... with ALL the shops. Didn't take me all that long to do but I was unimpressed with what the banks had to offer and came away more confused than when I went in *sigh*. 

How blue is the sky please?

Once I was back from town it was a cup of tea and a chit chat before I got down to some hard work... listening to music and reading a book outside. Ooof, it's tough going at the moment. Then the hammock was brought out and I introduced myself to that, well that was me done and relaxed; I love it. 

In the evening I had tea and was taught some moves for Aussie rules, I think I could be a pro in no time... :/ after which we did some trampolining, OBVIOUSLY! 

Tuesday was fun, just an average day I'm sure! (Sarcasm if you're wondering). We went down to the River mouth and took part in the bush tucker tour. I absolutely loved it, 100% recommend it. Our guide, Helen, was fantastic. We paddled canoes up the river to a little island where the aborigines would hold the roots and use them to remove the bad spirits from themselves, this is where we fed the fish by launching small rolled up balls of bread at the water (no jokes). After that we paddled further up the river and were talking about the cliff face and how it was formed. We also got told about the house that took 12 years to build many many years ago and, sadly, burnt down in 12 hours during the bush fires 3 years ago. 

Once that was done we paddled over to another part of the river and got out of the boats to go inside the cave, we got a talk about the cave and the history behind it, then a couple of the adults and a lot of the kids went crawling through a small tunnel on their stomachs. Personally didn't fancy getting my wide behind stuck in there thanks very much! 

Following the cave crawling we went and sat in a field and were introduced to 20 different bush foods made in to various forms. We ate a gooseberry off a bush growing nearby, we had some crocodile, emu and kangaroo, all very delicious. Something that was like a tiny lemon, that was not nice, neither were the "bush tomatoes", an acquired taste I'm sure. The pestos' were delicious as were the tomato and mango chutney's.

Then once the boys got back from school it was time to go steal christmas... trees. So we all piled in to the car and went off roading to choose a decent Christmas tree. One was picked and chainsawed, tied to the roof, then we escaped the forest listening to Christmas songs; it's all a bit surreal whilst wearing sun cream and sun glasses but no less fun. Much prefer spending the day in shorts than looking like the michelin man in a million layers to keep warm; I can look that way with less layers now! 

I managed to get annihilated 12 - 9 at a make shift indoor game of football (soccer for all you non-Brits reading). After eating tea the ritual of untangling the Christmas lights took place, that seems to be a consistent thing no matter where in the world you are. I also had to thickly smear my legs with cream after the pines had made them come up in a hideously itchy rash! Ouch.

I ended up having a pretty early night due to being VERY tired and sleeping little the night before. I do like to get as many zeds as I can manage. Hopefully today's chilled day will help me recoup and be rested enough, not so great being this tired but I'll persevere. I'm sure I'll get even less sleep once I start hostel hopping. 

Are you the one who was sleeping?

I'm infamous amongst the beautiful ladies of Margaret River. After my Aunt posted a status about the boys being desperate to wake me up at 8 in the morning everybody I'm introduced to is asking me if I'm "the one who was sleeping". Yes, yes I am. I do love my sleep.

So Sunday I got up a little later than I wanted to and missed taking the boys to see Charlie finish the 10k run, the older two weren't bothered but Sam and I would have went had my head been a bit more on it. By the time I was sorted she was finished and heading back so I watched the boys whilst Cam went to get the car and Charlie ran back to the house. What a trooper! 

Max tried to see what he would get away with, asking me questions about what he was allowed to do/eat, but I stayed strong. After Charlotte got back we got out the Christmas boxes, and all started sticking on hats and reindeer horns. Christmas had begun and discussion about who opens what day of the advent calendar; gives me memories of being a child. 

Later after lunch three of us headed down for a walk to the local beach. FLIES EVERYWHERE! Had a cup of tea and tried to keep the flies away with a bit of a bush. This was post-snake danger talk from a 7 year old, this was essential information! 

After my cup of tea we went and threw ourselves in the ocean; it was so cold! We did an under head dip then went and got a quick shower before dressing and walking back home. By this point my hair was like straw, if I took it out of the bobble it would stick up by itself. 

When we came home it was a glass of bubbles before a delicious duck roast, and there was plenty more jumping around on the trampoline. 

Last night I struggled to sleep, and I mean really struggled. Barely slept a wink and I knew I was getting woken up early - they finally had permission to jump on me and wake me up. So early morning Archie came jumping on the bed, much to his disappointment I was already awake. I got up and the school rush happened whilst I waddled around in a daze. Then we left for school and I stood through the assembly and the Australian anthem. Much more jazzy than God Save the Queen. Who knew how boring and looooong assembly could be. 

Then it was swim time with some much appreciated and much needed swimming tips from the pro. Hopefully I'll have chance to advance them as we go. I also wore flippers which was a strange sensation. When we came home I couldn't cope with the tiredness, I'm afraid I caved and went for a nap... a FOUR HOUR nap. I definitely needed it. Felt refreshed but still tired when I woke up. I helped with tea and then got engaged in an intensive game of monopoly, although my roll has been taken over and I'm being told what my moves are... I still seem to be winning.

Hopefully tonight I will sleep right through. We'll see...

Jet Lag Central

So I began my first day in Australia with pancakes, nutella and maple syrup (and of course, a much needed cup of tea). What a treat! 

I then went in to Margaret River to the farmers market and we did some food shopping, we bumped in to some of Charlotte's friends and we did a bit of a sightseeing drive by to the local beach. 

Once we did that we came back Sam and I did some jumping around on the trampoline and playing with the duplo. I seriously do not miss my office job. This (sorry Mum) is the kind of life I want. 

For the first time in my life I did some gardening, I planted the tomatoes, beetroot, lettuce, something else the name of which I can't remember. I also think I drowned the corn, I hope they can be salvaged. You can make it corn! It was actually a lot of fun and I enjoyed doing it.

After all the labourious (but enjoyable) stuff was done we headed off to the beach. It was a little windy but I embraced the water and we did some snorkelling. Took my body a bit to get used to the water but afterwards it was absolutely fine. I saw a puffer fish, a sting ray and a striped fish. I also split my toe open and the vicious pointy rocks all around the beach. We saw two Osprey, which until recently I was sure was only a backpack brand, that was very cool! I really enjoyed it before we headed back and went via a mob of kangaroos. Had to be done, can't go to Australia and not see Kangaroos. 

I was told by Cam that a great white had been spotted in the lagoon we were snorkelling in about two weeks previous to our visit; living life on the edge! There was actually a shark attack about 10k north of where we were, but the person got away with a flesh wound and all of their limbs! 

I've now had some delicious home made pizza and I'm on my second "Mum Measure" gin. Ready for some sleep now that's for sure.

All in all, it was an awesome day and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I've definitely made the best decision of my life (long time coming) and I am looking forward to so many more days of fun and adventure.

Bring. It. On.

(P.S. I do miss the important people, you know who you are)

Welcome to Australia

I was greeted by my Aunty who was very excited to see me. I swapped in to flip flops and we headed in to Perth to run some errands. I was pretty exhausted but so pleased I had made it in one piece. 

I'VE ARRIVED

We went to the running shop where I lay flat on this comfy couch, it was beautiful. I questioned the guy about some things whilst Charlie tried on various funny named shoes. Then we went to the swimming shop and bought a few bit before the loooooong drive to Margaret River. I fell asleep on the way and did the whole head flop thing. I eventually woke up and we had a good chat whilst things got dark before I arrived. 

We had car snacks of some burger things, like onion ring crisps but a different flavour, they got snaffled. Then some m&ms, yes they exist over here. 

Then I arrived and two of the boys were awake to say hello and Cam, and I also met a neighbour. Then I had a sausage butty and a gin (huzzah for gin). Then I went to bed and was too tired to even stay awake all that long. 

HOWEVER! I woke up at 4am for a whizz and I was wiiiiiide awake. Stayed awake for about an hour before I decided to go back to sleep for four more hours. I also saw my first spider, there are quite a few but spiders don't bother me. Unless they're going to eat me, that said, I would feel that way about anything. 

About 8am I heard the boys sneaking in to the room to wake me up. Thus began my first (proper) day in Australia. 

The Journey Down Under

So it all started at 4am when I was awoken by a bright light (cheers Mum). So I rolled my tired self out of bed on 4 hours sleep and tumbled in to some clothes, I looked like a tramp but I didn't care - comfort in travel, always. Thus travel tramp was born. 

Made it to the airport in plenty of time thanks to my friend, and a touch of speeding. I took my bag up to check in and I could hear vibrating after I was sliding it across the floor with my foot, my eyes opened wide and I had to delve in there bag to turn my razor off before anything else was assumed. I managed to do it and checked in fine... 2 hours to go... now what do I do. Ok, I'm hungry... BREAKFAST! Full english? Don't mind if I do. That gave me enough time to saunter over to the departure gate and sit and charge my phone. STEAL ALL THE LECCY. When I was getting stuff out of my over-stuffed backpack I could hear a rattling in my not-so-protected sunglasses case. I was wondering what the noise was so I opened it up and found my sunglasses with an arm detached. I thought no probs I'll just reattach... oh wait... complete snapage. So I have treated myself to a new pair of very fancy sun specs. A year in the sun seems justifiable, doesn't it? (Say yes).

It was a quick run to duty free and an agonising wait for the very polite lady to chop chop and get my sunglasses as the flight was now boarding. Once I got them I could swiftly walk aaaall the way back to the departure gate. Oh, but look, a queue, how very British... I waited until the end to get on, only to find an old couple in my seat. Usually, I would argue this but I was too tired to be anything other than silently seething. But the girl in the seat in front was my partner on the seats behind so we got the couple to move. I had chose that seat specifically, as had she. (Although I did end up with the aisle seats but I wasn't complaining). 

I then watched Maleficent, played Tetris, watched Guardians of the Galaxy. I was fed breakfast with chicken sausage which was very nice, I also was fed a small baguette, which they claimed to be pizza, and drank LOADS of water. The flight went quite quickly and on the whole it was ok. There was a moment where it was so cold! But that was my own fault as I managed to tip water all over the blanket and had to carry it to the hostess' to get a new one, no surprises that happened! 

Landing in Abu Dhabi and getting to the terminal was a bit of a nightmare. We were delayed slightly getting in, then the shuttle bus took FOREVER to get us to the terminal and I rushed to security and go through it easily. Only to get to the gate and find a 45 minute delay. That was cool because I managed to make a chum. He's a nice guy from Perth who's done a lot of travelling so I was questioning a lot (poor guy). I got on the plane and I knew I had the seat next to me free but some woman moved the guy in the end seat to be with her boyfriend. Harumph! but the boy moved somewhere else after ten minutes which I was chuffed about, so I had two seats to stretch out on. I use the term stretch lightly! 

I got a bit of sleep on the second flight, when my head didn't fall backwards between the seat and the window. I also managed to watch the end of 22 Jump Street that I started watching on the first flight, the whole of Jersey Boys and listened to two very cool albums on the in flight entertainment. All was well apart from my skin almost turning crispy through a lack of moisture and a distinct lack of water, which I kept having to request.

Before I knew it we were coming in to land. I filled out my entry card and ticked yes to one thing as I have prescription drugs with me. And I also filled out my form to let them know I don't have ebola *cough*. When I came in to Australia I was asked what I ticked yes to, so I told them, then they asked where I was staying so I told them, then I walked straight through to get my bag and then straight on to the lounge where I was met by a very smiley Aunty. 

I had landed. Finally.