Merry Christmas, beaches!

On Christmas Eve the boys were very excited, as was I to be fair. Although still not quite in the spirit of Christmas we spent the day making things and dancing along to Christmas songs. We established quite early on my strangled-cat impressions (singing) was not fair on anybody's ears. After we had dinner we all went outside to draw arrows for Santa to know where to go and also outlines of the people in the house. The boys were actually wearing Christmas hats but I don't remember a cape. Sam sprinkled his reindeer oats on the grass and there was water and carrots left for the reindeers. The boys went to bed and the elves got to work... not before the boys got up a couple of times with varying excuses as to not being able to sleep. The boys told me I had to draw the blinds back in the bedroom because then I could see in to where Santa would be leaving presents and I might spot him, unfortunately I didn't see him :( 

CHRISTMAS DAY! I woke up at 5 but was allowed to drift off until 6 when the boys came to wake me up. He's been, he's been! - I couldn't believe myself, now I'm 25 I must be getting old, the only thing I wanted was a cup of tea, never mind the presents. So I made a brew and the boys got to work on their stockings. I too had a stocking, which was a very pleasant first. Can't believe it, I'm still getting an apple and orange. Damn it Santa! Give it up already. Although I did eat the apple... the orange went back in to the fruit bowl, it's a Christmas tradition. The only orange I ate from that stocking was the matchmakers mmmmm orangey goodness. The ping pong ball was for the ping pong table that Santa brought, we've not yet hosted a tournament but we certainly should. After all the presents were opened it was croissants for breakfast and getting ready for a traditional Aussie Christmas - at the beach.  

One tradition that has been embraced by the family through Charlotte is pigs in blanket. I had an appreciative moment of silence when I was stuffing my cheeks with the delicious pork sensation. If you don't know what pigs in blankets are then you need to go and reevaluate your life, go and sit in the corner and think about what you've wasted your years doing. After going in for a dip and making Cam facepalm because I went in to the water near the rocks like a moron, I got out and had a cider and sat with my hat and the reindeer ears to embrace the Christmas weather. After the cider and drying off it was clearly time to go and jump back in the sea, I got Archie's board and got some lessons from Cam on how to carry and stay on the board, the first few times I succeeded with his help... then he left me to it... eep. Luckily they weren't massive waves as my skills are not up to scratch. I was only lying down, of course, I could just about manage that, never mind standing on it, ooosh that would be tricky. It started becoming so addictive. I had already took the board back, ate sushi (a traditional Christmas dish, obviously!) before going back in to body surf, Charlotte came in to tell us we were leaving, so I told myself just one more, I told myself that several times. Then Charlie decided to teach me how to dive under the waves, so as not to potentially get caught by a biggun and drown. So under we went, again, and again, and again. I wasn't really getting the hang of it; I could get under but it was knowing when to get up, I think I stayed under too long. By the time I got out my ear was blocked full of water. WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY? 

 We dried off and rubbed the sand off ourselves as best we could before heading home. At one stage I felt myself starting to toast so I had put more suncream on, this was whilst eating the sushi. Hair sufficiently wet (it's the rules remember!), we were on our way home, an hour at the beach had turned out to be a few but we all had a lot of fun in the sun. Not a cloud in sight and beautiful sand and sea. 


The way to get to that beach is across an extremely bumpy compressed sand path so we had all been cheering like we were on a roller coaster with our arms in the air on the way down.

We got back and in amongst playing and eating smarties we got the table ready for tea and guess what we had? (You cheated by looking at the picture didn't you? Spoil sport.) Prawns. Mmmmm. Not quite turkey and I certainly couldn't make a butty out of it later but they were delicious. As was the fish Cam prepared. I ate away until I was stuffed, now that IS a Christmas tradition. Although peeling a prawn and getting brains all over me was not such a good thing, not my brains, there's nothing in there to explode, no, I meant prawn brains. The brains wasn't anywhere near funny, "poo vein" however, the boys were laughing at that for quite a while. 

From the moment we had got back it was blatantly obvious that I'm not at all flexible with my arms and clearly find difficulty in suncreaming my back; I need to make sure I make some friends when I travel who are willing to generously apply. I have a big X marks the spot on my back, it's still there five days on and delicate. I made sure I got aloe vera gel slopped on to help. It's definitely going to peel but if you're looking for pirate treasure then I hope it fades before you find me. The shoulders also caught the red and two of the neighbours think I have more colour about me than when they took me to Perth a week ago. This said from a fellow Ginger makes all the difference, we notice the subtle differences, from see-through to white is a change of epic proportions for a Ginger. My legs also got an odd burn on them, nothing quite as clear cut as the X but more of a shaded on burn. I think it was just the direction I was sat in the sun post-sea pre-reapplication. 

After dinner we went and had a drink with the neighbours and they seemed to have the entire family around! There were hordes of them. It's really lovely when you get family together and I enjoy the atmosphere and the conversation, but it's also nice when they all scootch back to their own home, I wonder if the neighbours are of the same opinion. Luckily for us boxing day was sat lazing and doing very little, I'm making the most of these days whilst they last. Got to hold on to the precious things in life. I literally did not much... I'm having to concentrate to remember... nope. 

The following day was the day Grandma arrived. First time she's been to Australia to find 4 of her Grandchild here. Just missing the other 10 and she'd have the set. When we were waiting for Charlotte to return from Perth with Grandma, I realised it was exactly one month since I arrived. Jeeze, a month already, well that's disappeared quickly. Better make sure I squeeze plenty in to the next 11 months. 


The next day I got a lie in! 9:30! It felt like such a win. After leisurely having breakfast and getting myself ready I wondered down to the beach and had a quick dip before walking home. I don't know if it's been all the food and booze but, this walk I've done many times before had my legs aching and tightening. I clearly need to participate in some exercise, although I am leaving my gym things here ;). In the evening I went to the outdoor cinema at Cape Mentelle with the neighbours and their nephew. I was chilling on a low seat with blankets and wine, lots of wine. It was a beautiful experience, the film was good, the company lovely, the wine was nice. What a divine evening. 

The next day I had to face the music... it was time to step out of this fantastic comfort zone and security blanket of staying with my gorgeous family and start what I got my visa for... to adventure. I had talked and thought about what to do but it only got me feeling distressed. I knew I wanted to go to the Southbound festival but trying to organise it with the lack of transport was becoming frustrating so I gave up. Fortunately I found the "f*** it" attitude I needed (after a mini motivational speech from Grandma) and threw myself in to getting it sorted. So it's done, first part of the adventure is booked and I'm ready to go, for a good 40 minutes afterwards I was trembling, excitement, fear, adrenaline... lack of food. Come the new year the adventure will hopefully be a lot more, watch this space! 

Perth Galore-y

I found this when we went for a meal! 

The lovely neighbours took me to Perth on their way; the journey was without incident, although we did drive through a sandstorm, which was interesting. When I arrived they dropped me in the city and I went to the bank to get some mullah. I am still pretty unimpressed that you get charged if you don’t withdraw from only your bank, what’s with that! Once I had located my Aussie bank I walked to the hostel. After checking in and changing I went in to town to meet my friend, on the way back in to the city centre I got accosted by a drunk drugged up Irishman. He asked me if I could call him a taxi, I immediately blurted out to the hobo-esque fellow that I didn’t have an Australian sim (lie). Then he proceeded to follow me all the way in to town, despite my telling him I couldn’t help him, Carl introduced himself as “I’m not a bad guy”, he smelt like he had sprayed his beard with Eau de Beer. He insisted on shaking my hand, a lot, with his grubby hands. Then he tried hugging me – there have been few people I’ve pushed myself away from an embrace, he was certainly one of them! I had to tell him that “I didn’t do touching.” I felt like the Emperor and he was certainly throwing off my Groove! No touchy! I messaged my friend to SAVE ME! By this point the weirdo had recognised where I was and left to get home. Thank goodness!

My friend and I had a really nice evening, there was a drink in a bar where they were sectioning off an area for a funtion, I don’t know what that is but it sounds fun, heh! (You see what I did there?). Then we sat in the centre on beanbags where there was a makeshift beach and we had a good chat. Whilst there we saw a lot of children playing in the sand with blow up crocodiles and buckets and what not, we also saw an elderly gentleman within very close proximity to these children and not being   

subtle about watching them. I was trying to establish whose grandparent/father he was… until he walked off… ALONE! My friend and I disgusted by this man started discussing paedophiles, he pronounced it ‘ped-o’, whereas I pronounced it paedo, as it’s supposed to be pronounced, the ‘discussion’ on the pronunciation got louder until I shouted it a little too loud… still near all the children, so we quickly made our way for some food. Whoops. We also went to Kings Park at night, which was quite beautiful and very dark in the park, and lots of people around. It seemed to be the happening place to be.

The next day my cousin, Michael, who I have not seen in 16 years, and his beautiful girlfriend, Alex, picked me up at 10am. LONG TIME! We drove up to the nature reserve and waited for the gorgeous Jacqueline, my other cousin. It was such a beautiful day and so very wonderful to see them. I was quite disappointed that Jacqui had to go early afternoon, but duty called. Fortunately she missed the demonic Brazilian trying to have a go at cracking the whip and almost taking out the guy who had demonstrated. We had already established his lunacy when we were looking at the farm animals. Jacqueline had a lot of knowledge about the animals that I was quite impressed with.

Once we had survived the whip-cracking Brazilian we left the reserve and went for lunch at a winery, which provided complementary wine tasting with dining. So we had quite a few snifters of wine, all sourced from Margaret River don’t you know, la-de-da. There was a bit of flirting from myself with the gents behind the bar, this meant I got larger pours of wine, I’m not sure that was the best idea, but enjoyable and fun nonetheless.

 

Following this, Mike drove us to the chocolate place, where we had free samples of chocolate… I had quite a few samples in my hand and proceeded to get my hand covered in chocolate. We also had an ice-cream there and I completely mixed up two similar common phrases which had me laughing a while. During the day we decided Mike’s new name would be Montrell, we thought this appropriate given the seat massaging bass from the cars subwoofer.

I had had such an absolutely lovely day seeing them and I was sad for it to be over, but I will definitely try to catch up again before I leave Australia!

In the evening I went out to dinner with another friend after several drinks in a side street pub with very comfortable seating, it was like chilling in your own lounge apart from the paying for drinks bit. We went to dinner and I ate a Schnitzel after a discussion earlier that day with Mike, sorry, I mean Montrell,  about schnitzel’s I had to try one. There was a huge plastic crocodile on the ceiling, which amused me greatly; we could have been in Jumanji. 

The next day was spent in Fremantle, checking out the old prison and walking around the town, it was a really lovely day, with cake and tea at a café. The cake was so rich it ended up mutilated to get to the less sweet bits. I love how Australian history is not as far back as English history. I chuckle 

when something “historical” is younger than my Nan, sorry Nan, but in Australia, you’re historical. That night there was a copious amount of alcohol consumed, although I think I was just topping up from the day before. I don’t think I can last another 11 months hostel hopping, you’ll be please to hear that, Mum. So after a 4am finish that day, there was an 8am start! After checking out of the hostel bacon and eggs were had for breakfast and I wandered around the town slowly melting whilst I did some shopping.

I would boldly walk along the shaded bits, and with a look, dared anyone to move me away from that. I’m ginger, man, have some sympathy. By the time I was done and made it to the hostel I was ready to just melt, I caught the sun a little but luckily managed to remain shaded for most of the day, phew! Then it was time to be picked up by the Bali-returning O’Beirne’s; I had definitely missed those guys and it was great to see them and head back to Margaret River. We had some cider and crisps in the car, a new sensation called Burger Rings, like onion ring crisps but obviously a different flavour. Introduced to me by Charlotte on my first day, the burger rings got inhaled, they never stood a chance. 

It was good to get back!

Whilst the cats are away...

Whilst the cats’ where away the mouse did… not very much indeed.

There was plenty of music and shape throwing with Bruce but apart from that and walking on the beach there was not much to report.

I was very kindly invited to the neighbours for a couple of drinks the day after my birthday, which I have titled 'Australian birthday'. Whilst there we had much wine drinking and good conversation, they also BBQ’d some burgers, they were massive! I have always wanted a BBQ for my birthday so that was awesome. I managed to out-men the men by having two, they were simultaneously impressed and scared.

 

I also went for a walk on the beach, a few times. Again trying to avoid the ass-splash from being a repeat, I think I achieved just that and I also had a mid-waist dip, no hair wetting on this occasion. I did see a purple shell and think it was beautifully colourful and was slightly amazed, only then to realise there were quite a lot of them…

 

There were a lot of escaped chicken incidents! The chickens were organised. Chilling by the side doors like “sup ginga?”.

The worst incident was when I was hanging washing up and came across this rather vibrant spider, red and white striped and not one I knew about. I took some pictures and started scanning the internet, as well as seeing if anyone I knew in Australia could answer my “is this poisonous” question. With no immediate response and no desire to kill the poor thing, I went back outside to take another picture. I went behind the spider on the web and was looking at the back of it, I then quickly looked down at my phone to make sure it was pointed directly where I wanted it, instantly looked back up and it had gone! Holy moly! I dived back in the house with epic speed and shut the door. I then peered from the safety of the house (after checking the vicinity inside for rogue spider) to see where it had gone. No sign until it was back on its web a few days later.

I also booked my mini trip to Perth to explore the city and do a bit there before I head around the coast in an anti-clockwise fashion… at least that’s the idea.

Selfie Central (Birthday Celebrations Galore)

On Friday the O'Beirneseses left for their overdue family holiday to Bali... The music came on the and dancing around began. This was after I decided to take the automatic for spin as I have never driven an automatic and was in a position where I had to do so in the evening. Didn't want to get stuck did I? But the news reports were talking about bush fires in a place I never heard of (not hard since I don't know the majority of places around here). The two things I was warned about were snakes and bushfires. Well I ended up panicking, long story short, to calm myself down I made some bacon and eggs, clearly a very British (and fat) thing to do! It was tea time so don't judge, oink! Then I spent the evening out before coming back and making sure the bogeyman wasn't anywhere to be seen. Luckily I was alone and content that I was locked in the house. (I had spelt it boogeyman but I can only imagine a guy in flares breaking in to song "don't blame it on the sunshine, don't blame it on the moonlight, blame it on the boogey... man")

My friend made me the Keep Calm which was very sweet :) 

The weekend was pretty lazy hanging around the house and doing a few bits and bobs. I also played Santa's Elf and wrapped up the boys christmas presents, I did forget to wear a Christmas hat (but it was pre-birthday) and also no eggnog. Although, I've never had eggnog before and I expect it would curdle in this heat, best not to try it for the first time if that's the case! I also decided to go for a walk along the beach in the sunshine, obviously this time I made sure I was super-suncreamed up before I set foot outside! Nobody wants to look like a tomato on their birthday, unless they're a bit weird and like dressing as tomatoes, I'm sure people like that exist, I just hope it isn't any of you guys? o.O

So on my walk along the beach I decided to dip my feet in the water, just along the shore where the sea was gently coming in, although at one stage it was quickly up around my shins. It should have been a sign! A little further down the beach SPLOOSH! a great big wave came up and whacked me on the backside. Talk about a smack up the bum! I had to swiftly run a bit further in, which, much to my amusement, was all spotted by some very attractive surfers, oh dear hahaha. On my walk back I caught sight of my shadow, holy moly I need to lose some weight, look at that! Fat behind indeed, and check out that head, so tiny. And those fingers... Heh heh. 

At midnight it was BIRTHDAY TIME! Aarrrr yeeee. Well, it was birthday 1 of 3 - all will be revealed. 

I got up, made some breakfast, sung happy birthday to myself at the top of my lungs, OBVIOUSLY. Then I got showered, got my absolutely awesome swimming costume on and headed down to Augusta for a swim and a change of beautiful scenery. I had no clue where exactly I was heading for, but I had a bug for adventure and just drove through Augusta until I hit a beach, and what a beach! The ocean was beautiful shades of blue and the sand was golden. I've never had a birthday on the beach so this was a brilliant first.

It looked pretty good, so I decided to see if it felt as lovely as it looked and dipped my feet in; the water was warmer than I have been in so far, so back to the car to get my towel and have a swim. After a bit of swimming up and down the shark paranoia set in and I got out to dry off. However, I remembered the rules - gotta get your hair wet! So I sniggered to myself and jumped back in. Sharks can wait, there are rules to abide by here my swift swimming predator friends. A few dunks later (not too many as I'm more of a 'Rich Tea' variety of swimmer [biscuit lovers will get that]) hair sufficiently wet it was back out for a drying off. Luckily, if any sharks happened to be about then, they clearly appreciated the necessity of my actions and stayed away out of respect and admiration, clearly, as I never got bitten! 

I took a "Look, I've got wet hair" selfie and I was clearly quite amused with myself, as you can probably work out from the cheesy grin. It's pretty Wallace and Gromit - We've forgotten the crackers! Nope, I always provide plenty of 'crackers' to any occasion (see what I did there?). So, amused as I was with myself, you can see behind me the dark clouds started rolling over so in true British fashion I gathered my belongs rapidly and jogged to the car in a fit of laughter. It can't be my birthday without some form of bad weather! The rain hit and I think the other people in the car nearby thought I was crazy - I'm British, it's still scorchio for me! So running with a towel and a bag and flip flops and a bottle of water and... is pretty funny in the middle of December! I got back to the car and wiped the sand off my feet. I couldn't work out of my hair was now wet because of the ocean or the rain, and to think, I could have got away without risking my life in the Sharky waters and still got wet hair. 

But all this running and swimming got me tired, exercise on my birthday? Like blaspheming in my book! I need to compensate with a big meal for tea and a slice of cake! Here is a picture of the rain and also of my wet hair from rain/ocean and very amused with the situation! 

I got back in one piece and got myself ready to go out for a nice meal after spending some time dancing around with my new Boyfriend, Bruce-Balloon, who doesn't mind a bit of head banging every now and then and he can certainly shake his booty with the best of them. 

At this point I noticed that Google had also acknowledged my birthday, but what good is virtual cake? Send me a real slice! I'm sure you keep a record of all my details anyway, get the address and mail it to the PO Box, please and thank you. I would like a piece of capital G please. 

So I rocked up on my own to a restaurant in town, bounced inside and proceeded to be sat at a table. It was Korean buffet night so there were quite a few people in there, personally I opted for huge-burger-and-chips-on-my-birthday night; it was massive and I couldn't finish it all. However, do you see that purple drink right there? That alcoholic beverage right there? The one with the green straw, yeah, that one! I ordered my food and went to the bar and the very handsome gentleman asked me what I would like, my response was uncertainty because I wanted something a little bit different for my birthday, so I asked for a recommendation, so he asked me for ID. HA! On my 25th birthday! I've clearly got a good 8 years of ageing in me yet, aaaaaahriiiiiiigggght. I laughed at him and said it was my birthday and would be accept my UK driving licence, he said not usually but since it's your birthday... Oh didn't I feel smug. The earlier flirting had clearly paid off. So that purple drink was drank with much smugness and sniggering to myself, actually, I think the alcohol content went straight to my head! 

When I eventually got home it was time to snuggle up with Bruce and watch a film, and obviously have a glass of wine, and obviously eat what was left of the birthday cake... alright it was a big slice but who cares! I clearly worked it off earlier with that mini jogging session... LIES! Birthday food doesn't count, it's like when you get free food or pinch it off someone else's plate - doesn't count. I watched Iron Man 3 and laughed more to myself. Oooooh, it must be all this laughter making me look 7 years younger :/

Then it was time for birthday number 3! 00:40 (Perth time) I was actually born now, I am 25! (16:40 GMT). So technically today is my birthday, DOUBLE CELEBRATIONS! The neighbour finally got hold of me and has very kindly invited me over for a glass of bubbles later, that will be a nice treat for 2nd birthday. If I were shorter I would declare myself a Hobbit, what with second breakfast and all that, AND, I am currently living in a Shire [No jokes! I am]. By this point I was exhausted, second birthday had a whole day so it was time to go asleep. In the morning I was going to treat myself to a lie in, but nooooo! With the chickens being organised they keep getting out of the coop (I wonder if they like gravy). So when I heard a dog run down the boards at the side of the house and a chicken start squawking I turned in to The Flash. I bolted out of bed and out of the house and ran as fast I could with no real idea of what I would do, but luckily the dog was nowhere to be seen and the chicken was strutting around like a smart-arse. I scooped him back up in to the coop before the other one appeared. You know that thing about not counting your chickens? Well I have to count them! It's necessary, and very good for getting in the Christmas spirit when the 12 days of Christmas tune gets in to your head (even though I start at 7) - 7 chickens sleeping, 6 geese a-laying, FIIIIIVE GOOOOOLD RIIIIIIIIIINGS. 

Colourful Cleaning Vampire.

So after frying myself to a crispy deliciousness on Monday's walk I did my best on Tuesday to stay indoors and hope I would fade back to white again. And with my big red nose I was avoiding mirrors, I'm not ready to embrace my Rudolph status; Reindeer in denial. Clearly being nocturnal is more appropriate in this climate for a Ginger Vampire like myself (NB: I don't drink Bloody Marys [Do I mean the drink or a Mary who is bloody? I'll let you decide])

DISCLAIMER! The following paragraph contains content about Father Christmas that believers shouldn't read!

So after a successful day of staying indoors we were to spend the next day playing out at a neighbouring town, Busselton. I made sure I was sun-creamed to the extreme before I left the house. It was a lovely town, lots of shops and 31 degrees! Whilst there I rooted around as I would quite like some long light-weight trousers for my adventures, there where lots of options... If I wanted to look like MC Hammer! Sheesh, come on guys? What's with the elasticated ankles? Are you scared your ankle might end up on show? Ooofff I do declare! Some of these trousers even went to the extent of having the very low crotch; something about old age and nappies springs to mind. So whilst I walked around with the small one in the Pram, Santa O'Beirne did some perusing in the shops of all the options for the boys Christmas presents. 

Ok you can carry on reading now...

When we came back I sat in the kitchen with Charlotte talking and half helping with dinner where I could. When tea was in the oven and the cake mixture had been made I got to lick the bowl. Such a big child, never mind mid-twenties. It was all over my hand and forearm, and probably around my face (I wasn't quite ready to face the mirrors yet). I was just sat mmming and licking the chocolate mixture off my hand, I think in my head I was about 5. Oooh that reminds me, there is left over cake... not for long. 

After dinner they sung happy birthday to me and the boys helped me blow out the candles on the very delicious chocolate cake (I had two pieces - no regrets). I got lovely homemade cards off the boys which I've put up in the bedroom and also a very awesome gift.
<<<CHECK OUT THAT SWIMMING COSTUME!
I absolutely love it. I'm such a sucker for bright multi-coloured things. I can honestly say I've never received a swimming costume for my birthday, it's never been appropriate before, who goes swimming in December in the UK? Crazies! That's who! (and athletes, and exercisers, and...) Yeah, just the crazy people.

Before bed we made a list of what we needed to do the next day (I do love a list). We were ready to get ready for the Swimming Women Christmas do at Casa O'Beirne. But the next day... before that could happen, I stood on the most deadly thing known to man! Ever stepped on a plug? OUCH. Ever stood on Lego? OUCH! But look! Plugs and lego have been mating and creating. And thus the "Pleugo" was born! It's mission? To annihilate all feet in the vicinity. Bred from pure evil that thing. I make sure there is nothing on the floor pre-bed now; another valuable life lesson learnt the hard way.

We spent the day cleaning and tidying the entire house end to end (top to bottom doesn't apply in a bungalow; unless you want to be pedantic and count the ladder climbing and ceiling cleaning). Much cleaning and two rounds of mopping later Charlotte and I were very very hot in the 27 degree heat, we decided a trip to the beach was a must. So off we popped, in my new swimwear OBVIOUSLY. Had a dip in the sea and a walk home before shower and readiness for the party.

Lots of the lovely swimming ladies and a swim man came, there was much drinking and talking and eating. The people of Margaret River are all absolutely lovely and I've yet to meet a person I don't like... there's still time yet! After the last of the lovelies had left we did a quick tidy up and I was given a lesson on wine tasting. I can't say I'm anywhere even remotely close to connoisseur status when I am comparing the wine aromas to manure :/. After deciding on my favourite we had a glass of the preferred and stayed up for a few more hours chatting. About 1ish we decided it would be a good idea to go to bed; children don't have any concept of a hangover or a lie in! 

Oh and those ears where on my head until I went to bed, I actually forgot about them until my top got stuck on my head, doofus. 

Don't read the below if you are easily offended!

So today I've sorted my Australian number, organised all the important things and am officially on house sitting duty. Alone you say? Perfect timing, after some trouble going, to use the facilities and not worry about being disturbed. What more do you want when nature calls? (For those of you who know me very well [family], you're aware of the struggles of IBS and the lack of being 'regular'.) So being in the Country I left the side door open with the fly doors across and shut myself in. I swear I have the worst luck! Someone slid the door open, down the side of the house! THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE! and shouted "Hello." WHAT?! I didn't find out who it was but City paranoia set in and I locked all the doors and windows and grumbled a lot because they'd ruined the need (I also checked under the bed just in case it was the boogeyman popping in to hide for later). Later on, all doors locked, I was ready to try again... there was a knock at the door. I absolutely couldn't believe it. I was ready to throw the toilet roll at the knockers face. I still don't know who was calling or what for, not like I would answer the door anyway, you know, stranger danger and all that! I'm going to put a sign on the door Unless you're delivering the free pizza I haven't ordered then I'm not answering. GO AWAY! 

Just as I finished writing that I found it was the neighbour.